


out

by doodles357



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Developing Relationship, First Dates, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:55:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodles357/pseuds/doodles357
Summary: Coming out isn't a one-time event, and Cyrus Goodman has a lot of people in his life. A series of coming outs.
Relationships: Amber & Cyrus Goodman, Buffy Driscoll & Cyrus Goodman & Andi Mack, Cyrus - Relationship, Cyrus Goodman & Iris, Cyrus Goodman & Leslie Goodman, Cyrus Goodman & Marty, Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen
Comments: 28
Kudos: 209





	1. Parents

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this back in February and then the whole world went crazy and I finally picked it back up for Nano. I've been wanting to write this for awhile. While we got a few coming outs on the show, there were quite a few people that we didn't get to see Cyrus come out to. I tried to cover all the major characters in the show that Cyrus interacted with. I did write a fic where he came out to Bex and Bowie (Boy Trouble) so they won't be included in this one. I'll try to indicate when these take place as some are set during the context of the show while others are after the finale. This first chapter takes places over the course of pre-3x11 through 3x13.

A few weeks had passed, but Cyrus still hadn’t entirely wrapped his mind around the fact that his Bubbe was gone. As he had gotten older, he hadn’t spent quite as much time with her as he used when he was little. Between school and friends, he was much busier than he had been as a kid. But they still talked on the phone at least a few times a month, and he went to visit whenever he could. Her health had gotten somewhat worse over the past few years, but since she was also getting older, he had chalked it up to something that was normal for older people.

And every time that he talked to her, she sounded fine. She always told him not to worry, and he didn’t. But then things took a turn, and she ended up in the hospital. His parents were worried; even though they tried to hide it from him, he could tell. When they went to visit her, it felt strange. She looked so tiny in the big bed, and she had all sorts of tubes and wires connected to her.

“This is all a big fuss over nothing,” she told him as he perched in the chair next to her bed. “I’m fine. I just overdid it. I keep forgetting I’m not as young as I once was.”

“I just want you to be okay,” Cyrus told her earnestly. 

“Don’t you worry about me,” she said, patting his hand. “Now, tell me, what’s going on in your life?”

“Nothing much,” he said. “Just school and everything.”

“Are you still friends with those girls?” she asked him.

“Buffy and Andi?” he said with a smile. “Of course.”

“Good,” she said decisively. “I like them. And have you made any new friends?”

“Not since the last time we talked,” he replied. He had told her about becoming friends with Jonah, and later TJ. He might have mentioned Amber at one point too. She hadn’t met any of them yet, but she stated that she already knew she would like them too.

“Anything else?” she prompted, and his voice caught in his throat.

Of course there was something else. It was right there, on the tip of his tongue, but he hadn’t been brave enough to let it out yet. Not to his Bubbe, to his parents, or even to some of his close friends. Only two other people in the whole world knew. He had known his Bubbe his whole life - even longer than Buffy and Andi - and she had nothing but praise and love for him. But he was still too scared to tell her.

_ I like boys. _

_ I’m gay.  _

Either response was right there, but he couldn’t get his mouth to open, and to let it out. 

“What is it?” she prompted him, squeezing his hand. He opened his mouth, but then hesitated.

“It’s nothing,” he finally said, squeezing back. “Don’t worry about it. Just worry about getting better, okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” she said with a wave of her hand, and they both laughed. He had reasoned it away; when she was feeling better and not stuck in a hospital, he would tell her. Maybe by then he would have the courage. 

But then she didn’t get better. And one morning he was woken by his mother who had tears in her eyes, and he realized that he would never see his Bubbe again, and that his chance was gone. It was hard enough, having to deal with losing her and knowing that she was gone forever, but he was so upset with himself for missing out on his one chance to tell her the truth - his truth.

And so, at her Shiva, he made the decision to tell Jonah. While his crush had faded months ago, he was still a little nervous about revealing anything related to that to the other boy. Knowing that Buffy and Andi would be there to support him if it all went wrong made it easier, but he could still feel his heart pounding as he searched his house for the other boy. Part of him wondered if Jonah had left, and the scared part of his brain felt relief at the idea of being able to put it off. But then he found Jonah, in the midst of a panic attack, and all thoughts of coming out were swept aside. 

He decided not to tell Jonah; the other boy was recovering from a panic attack, and it wasn’t fair to just dump that on him. Or was it just another excuse to put it off? And as they stood in front of the buffet table, Cyrus decided that he didn’t want to spend another couple of months going back and forth, trying to convince himself to tell Jonah.

So he told him.

“And I’m gay.”

It was the first time he had ever used those words. Even though he knew, deep down, he had always framed it as  _ a crush on Jonah. _ But then the crush on Jonah was gone, and he still didn't like girls. And while he had accepted it, saying it out loud was still another step he hadn’t taken yet. 

He surprised even himself when he said it. It wasn’t like he had a plan for how he was actually going to tell Jonah, and it certainly wouldn’t have been in front of a table full of food at his Bubbe’s Shiva, in the middle of a sentence about fish. But the words slipped out of his mouth easily, and it wasn’t until after he said it that his heart sped up as the reality of what he had done crashed over him.

Jonah looked confused for a moment, and then smiled. And then proceeded to eat the fish that Cyrus had just warned him against. It broke the spell of the moment, and he found himself smiling. Andi slid her arm around his waist, his friends gathered around him, and for a moment, he was the happiest he had ever felt. Despite the fact that he was at his Bubbe’s Shiva, and had been upset the last few days, it felt as though a weight had been lifted off his chest.

And yet, life went on as usual. Jonah didn’t make a big deal out of it, and it was almost as though it hadn’t happened. The four of them hung out, went to the Spoon, and did all the normal things like always. But to Cyrus, it had made all the difference. And he couldn’t stop thinking about how it had felt to let someone else know.

\----

Losing his Bubbe had shaken Cyrus, and although he knew his parents were in good health, the idea that something could happen so suddenly had given him a new perspective. He wanted to tell them; he had wanted to tell them ever since he had figured it out for himself, but something kept holding him back. And he knew that his parents would be okay with it. He knew that he was incredibly lucky, and he didn’t need to worry about their response, which was a luxury that not everyone had. 

He ruminated on it for a few weeks. Tried to figure out what the best scenario would be to tell them. Should he tell everyone at once, or one at a time? Should he drop some hints first, or just come out and say it like he did with Jonah? He kept tossing the idea around in his head, and then life got in the way. 

It had become increasingly obvious that he had developed feelings for TJ. It had started out subtly enough, and probably around the time that his crush on Jonah was still lingering, so he hadn’t figured it out right away. But the more time they spent together, the more he noticed how he felt about the other boy. And like he had with Jonah, he kept looking for hints that TJ maybe liked him back. 

And to Cyrus’ surprise, he found that it seemed as though maybe TJ did. And then TJ asked him to do a costume together for costume day. Something that was personal to the two of them. Cyrus agreed, ignoring the tiny feeling of guilt poking at him because it meant he would have to ditch Andi’s costume.

And then TJ showed up in a shirt matching the one Kira was wearing, and it was like someone had punched him in the gut. Cyrus couldn't remember the last time he had felt so hurt and embarrassed, and he felt as though everyone in the courtyard was staring at him as he stood there alone, feeling out of place and unmatched with anyone in his stupid salt costume.

He had no idea how he made it through the day without breaking down in tears, and barely made it home that afternoon before they started. Luckily, his parents were out, so he was able to collapse onto his bed and let everything out. He managed to compose himself somewhat by the time they got home, and was working on homework when his mother came in to say hello. His attempts at acting neutral, however, were not very effective. His mother knew him way too well, and could always tell when he was upset.

“What’s wrong, honey?” she asked as she perched on the edge of his bed. He slowly closed the book that he had been pretending to read, and sat up next to her.

“It’s a long story,” he said quietly. She put her arm around him, drew him in close, and that was all it took for the tears to start again. She didn’t say anything or ask any questions, but rubbed comforting circles on his back and let him cry into her shoulder.

When he finally calmed down, she waited until he dried his tears away.

“What’s going on, sweetheart?” she asked again. He wasn’t sure where to start - with TJ or Kira or costume day or the fact that there was another boy that he liked that only liked a girl instead. And what ultimately came out of his mouth was:

“Mom, I’m gay.”

He said it quietly, not even sure if she had heard him, but then he found himself enveloped in a full hug.

“I love you,” his mother whispered into his ear, and the tears started up again. But this time they were of relief and happiness. The full story came spilling out as well, and his mother held him as he explained what had all happened that day.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” she said. 

“I just don’t get it,” he said through sniffles. “Why he would do that.”

“Well,” his mother said, her tone shifting to her ‘doctor voice,’ “from what I understand about teenage boys is that they often make dumb decisions without thinking things through. Not you though, dear,” she added as an afterthought. 

“Yeah, I know,” Cyrus said. 

“And I’m glad you told me,” she said, giving him a kiss on the top of his head. “Have you told anyone else?”

“Just a couple of my friends,” he said.

“Hmm, I should have figured,” she said with a soft smile. “What about your dad?”

“Not yet,” he replied quietly. “But I want to.”

“It’ll be okay,” she told him.

\-----

The opportunity to tell his dad presented itself a week later. It was his week to spend at his dad’s house, and as they usually did, his dad picked up after school on that Friday. After some casual chatting about how their days had gone, Cyrus could feel the tension rising. It was just him of course. His dad had no idea what was going through his head in that moment. 

As they stopped at a red light, Cyrus pondered how to do it. He could wait till they got home, but then his stepmom might be there. And while he was planning on telling her too, he wanted to tell his dad on his own first. And then he remembered how relieving it felt to just tell Jonah without thinking about it too much.

“Hey dad?” he said before he could chicken out.

“Yes?” his dad asked, glancing over at him briefly. 

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” his dad replied. The two looked at each other, and Cyrus could see the knowing look in his father’s eyes.

“Did Mom say something to you?” Cyrus asked.

“She mentioned that you wanted to talk to me about something important, but she wouldn’t tell me anything more than that. She said it was something you needed to say.”

“Well, she was right,” Cyrus replied. He paused, took a breath, and before he could say anything, the light turned green and his dad started driving again.

“I’m listening,” his dad said. “Unless you want me to pull over?”

“No, that’s not necessary,” Cyrus said. He paused again, watching the houses flick past.

“Dad, I’m gay.”

It came out quietly, but he knew his dad had heard it. He kept his gaze out the window, and then he felt his dad’s hand on his own.

“Okay,” his dad replied. “Thank you for telling me.”

His dad squeezed his hand, and Cyrus squeezed back in relief. Even though he knew that it would be okay, he could still feel the invisible pressure lifting off his chest. The rest of the ride home was quiet, which was fine with Cyrus. Once they got into the house though, his dad surprised him by pulling him into a hug.

“I didn’t want to try and do this while driving,” his dad explained. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Cyrus said into his dad’s shoulder. 

Later that night, he told his stepmom, who had a similar response and told him that she was there to talk if he ever needed to. He also called his stepdad to tell him right away too. He figured that it would just be easier to get it all done at once, and having all his parents know felt like having a huge weight lifted off his chest. 

When he went to bed that night, he felt much better than he had in awhile. He didn’t like keeping secrets from his family, and hearing all of them tell him that they loved him and cared about him had helped to lift his spirits immensely. The past week or so had sucked, having to go to school every day and see TJ and Kira glued at the hip. While telling his parents hadn’t solved that particular problem, he felt freer knowing that they all knew his truth.

And when he went back to his mom’s house, he was surprised to find a small rainbow flag sitting on his desk in his room. He smiled at the sight, and a warm feeling flooded his body. It was the first thing that he had ever owned that was a rainbow. He had wanted to get something, but wasn’t ready to explain if he did. But now he didn’t have to worry about that. 


	2. Amber

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during 3x17 after Amber confronts the boys about Jonah lying to her.

Cyrus could feel his anxiety mounting as he walked down the street. Amber had just confronted him and Jonah in front of the school, and while she had said she wasn’t mad at him, he still felt incredibly guilty about what had happened. He had been vaguely aware that things weren’t going so well between Amber and Jonah, but had tried his best to stay out of their relationship. He knew enough through reports from Andi who had gotten sucked into their drama that things were messy again. A different kind of messy from the first time they dated, but messy all the same.

But then Jonah had dragged him into it, and put on the spot, he inadvertently took a side. He didn’t like the idea of lying to Amber, but Jonah insisted that she wouldn’t figure anything out. Jonah also refused to talk about _why_ he was persisting in lying to Amber, so Cyrus just gave up for the time being and hoped that it would all blow over. But then Amber confronted him with the chess board, and he had to admit to the lie.

She was right, of course. She had every right to be hurt and upset. He had gone along with Jonah’s dumb plan, and he had lied to her. After she stormed out, he had texted several apologies to her, but she was clearly ignoring him. Every time that he thought about what he had done, a feeling of shame and guilt twisted in his stomach. Worse, he realized that he may have just lost a friend for good. It was the same feeling he had lurking in the back of his mind at the beginning of the school year when Buffy and Andi were acting weird around each other because of the Walker situation, and he was worried they were going to stop being friends as a result. It was the same feeling that he had when he approached Dr. Metcalf’s office to turn TJ in for the gun, sure that the other boy would never talk to him again.

He tried to force that thought out of his head; thinking about TJ was painful, but for a new reason now. He then realized that he had been walking aimlessly for a while now, and had ended up on Main Street. Even though he didn’t have plans to meet up with his friends after school, his feet had taken him in the direction of The Spoon. But he didn’t know if Amber was working there later, and he didn’t know what was going to happen between the two of them now. She was probably breaking up with Jonah as he stood there.

Finally, he decided to keep walking. It was cold out, and while he didn’t want to go home yet, he had to go somewhere. A couple of blocks over, he found a little café, and entered, grateful for the warmth it provided. He ordered a hot chocolate and sat himself in a table near the back. As he sipped carefully on it, he replayed the conversation he had with Amber in his head. She had clearly sounded upset with Jonah but had said she wasn’t mad at him. Her tone hadn’t seemed angry, but she still hadn’t texted him. Maybe she had just said that to get him to leave so she could dump Jonah in privacy.

As Cyrus sat there in morose contemplation, he was startled out of his thoughts when Amber herself sat down across from him at the table. He sat up straight, shocked to see her there out of nowhere.

“Hi,” she said, giving him a half smile.

“Hi,” he replied in surprise. “What -?”

“I walked past and saw you sitting in here, looking miserable,” she informed him. “And I figured that we should probably talk.”

“I’m so sorry!” he burst out. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I never would have done that on purpose and –”

“Cyrus, it’s okay,” she said, reaching forward to place a placating hand on his arm. “I’m not mad at you.”

“You should be,” he mumbled, sitting back in his seat. “I was being a terrible friend.”

“What you did sucked,” she agreed. “But I get why you did it. And if I didn’t forgive you, I would be a bit of a hypocrite.”

“What do you mean?” he asked in confusion.

She sighed deeply, looking somewhat embarrassed. “Look, I was really upset that you went along with Jonah and lied to me. And I was mostly upset with Jonah because he was being so immature and inconsiderate about our whole relationship. I did take some of my frustration out on you. But after I thought about it for a bit, I realized that I wasn’t that mad at you.”

“Oh,” Cyrus said, still feeling confused. “You should have been mad at me though.”

She chuckled slightly. “Cyrus, I know I haven’t known you that long, but I have gotten to know you pretty well. You’re a really nice person. And you had a lapse in judgement. I’m not going to ignore it, but I do forgive you.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said emphatically, giving his hand a squeeze.

“What did you mean about being a hypocrite?” he asked.

“Well, I was thinking about it, and I know I wasn’t very nice to you back when we first met. Making fun of your shoes, being judgmental…all of that.”

“I had forgotten about most of that,” Cyrus said honestly. “We’ve moved past all of that.”

“But I never apologized,” Amber said. “I was pretty terrible to you and your friends, but you still decided to help me despite all of that. You never held it over my head or even asked for an apology. And I think I took that for granted.”

“It’s okay,” Cyrus said. “How about we call it even?”

She smiled and nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

“And I’ll never lie to you again!” Cyrus declared. Amber rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

“And,” he ventured carefully. “Can I ask what happened with you and Jonah?”

Amber rolled her eyes, looking frustrated. “I broke up with him. Of course. He made it pretty clear that he didn’t actually want to be in a relationship with me, but wouldn’t actually do the breaking up himself. It’s just…embarrassing. He made such an effort to avoid being with me. I don’t get why he agreed to try dating again.”

“I wish I could give you more insight, but despite the fact that we’re friends and I’ve seen quite a bit of his dating life at this point, I honestly have no idea what his thought process is,” Cyrus replied.

Amber just sighed deeply again. “Well, it’s over. And I won’t make that mistake again.”

She sat back in her seat, and the pair sat there in silence for a moment. At one point, Amber reached over to steal Cyrus’ hot chocolate. He let her, not really minding.

“So, what’s going on with you?” Amber asked a few minutes later.

“Me?” Cyrus asked in confusion.

“Well, we’re always talking about me in our sessions. And in general,” she said. “The last time we really talked about your problems was with your dance class.”

“I mean, we set those sessions up so you could talk about your problems,” Cyrus said, brow wrinkled.

“Yeah, but we can talk about stuff outside of that,” she said. “It’s called being friends,” she reminded him gently.

“I don’t have any problems,” he said half-heartedly, knowing that he didn’t sound very convincing. Her raised eyebrow indicated that she wasn’t convinced.

“You’ve been off the last few weeks,” she said.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” she replied. “It’s like…you’re acting happy around everyone else, but you’re secretly sad about something.”

Cyrus was more than a little surprised at her perceptiveness, but also didn’t know where to begin. His moroseness was mostly centered around everything that had happened with TJ, and the fact that he kept seeing TJ and Kira glued at the hip wherever he went. Not that Amber knew any of that. Not only did she go to a different school, but she didn’t even know that he was gay.

“It’s…kind of a long story,” he said.

“I have time,” she shot back.

He sighed, glancing down at the hot chocolate cup. “Well, the short version is that I like someone, and I thought they might like me back, but now they’re with someone else, so it’s looking like I was completely wrong.”

“Ouch,” Amber said. “Also, I didn’t know you liked someone.”

“Well, I hadn’t really told many people. Or anyone,” he said.

“No one else knows?” she asked in surprise.

“Well…Buffy knows. But only because she figures everything out.”

“And what did she tell you?” Amber asked.

“She thinks that I’m wrong. That the person I like does like me back. But there’s no proof of that,” Cyrus said, feeling a familiar frustration bubbling up. He and Buffy had gone around and round on this conversation many times, with her insisting that TJ didn’t really like Kira that much, and him not believing her. the proof was right in front of his eyes.

“It’s funny,” Amber said. “You don’t really talk about having crushes on people. Aside from when you and Iris dated, I don’t think you’ve ever really said anything.”

“I haven’t had that many crushes,” Cyrus replied, feeling another twinge of guilt at the mention of Iris. He had never really told her the truth of why they had broken up. “And I guess I’m not that used to talking about them with people.”

“People other than Andi and Buffy,” Amber replied, but with no hurt in her voice. When Cyrus looked at her in surprise, she smiled slightly. “The three of you have this invisible sort of bond. It’s easy for you to leave others out.”

“We don’t mean to,” Cyrus said.

“I know,” Amber replied. “I don’t think you do it on purpose. But I guess since you’re so close, it just happens on accident. Jonah noticed it too, especially since he’s been hanging out with you three so much.”

“Oh,” Cyrus said, feeling even more guilty. “I guess we’re so used to it just being the three of us that we’re still not used to letting others in.”

“I get it,” Amber said. “But you know you do have other friends who want to support you, right?”

“Yeah, I do,” Cyrus said. He hesitated, deliberating. He wanted to tell Amber, but he really had no idea how she would respond. Over the past year, he had found himself paying close attention to people and how they reacted when the topic of being gay came up. He couldn’t remember it ever happening with Amber, so he didn’t know what her reaction would be.

But she was right. He could trust other people aside from just Andi and Buffy. He had trusted Jonah, and everything had turned out all right.

“When I say that it’s a long story, I mean it,” he started off cautiously. “There’s a lot of backstory. But there’s this…guy. We’ve gotten pretty close over the past year, and I thought that maybe there was something there. But now he’s hanging out with this girl who pretty much hates me and my friends, and it sucks.”

He had been staring down at the table as he talked, but slowly glanced up to see Amber’s reaction. She was smiling gently back at him.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said, reaching forward to give his hand a squeeze. “Now I’m going to need every single detail so I can understand everything that’s been going on.”

Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh and started telling her how he had met TJ. While it still hurt to describe everything that had happened on Costume Day and when he had seen the pair on the swings, he found it was almost…relieving to share his feelings with someone else.

“Hmm,” Amber said once he had finished. “It’s hard for me to say since I don’t know him, and I haven’t seen the two of you interact. But I don’t think that it’s impossible that he likes you.”

“But he’s hanging out with this other girl now,” Cyrus complained.

“Yeah, but you’re missing an important element,” Amber informed him.

“Which is?” Cyrus asked.

“Boys are dumb,” she said flatly. “Really dumb. I think you just had a first-hand experience of that.”

“Well, yeah…” Cyrus trailed off. “But it doesn’t explain everything.”

“I know,” Amber said, placing a comforting hand over his. “But if he does like you, maybe he’s just scared. And maybe he’s just hiding behind this girl because he doesn’t know what to do yet.”

“Maybe,” Cyrus said, not really sure if he agreed with her or not.

“Give it some time,” Amber advised. “Sometimes that all that people need. Enough time and you’ll find out one way or another.”

“I guess you’re right,” Cyrus agreed. It wasn’t exactly the answer he wanted, but he supposed it was the best he would get. The pair of them stood up, and Cyrus tossed his garbage out as they headed to the door.

“Do you work today?” he asked as they walked outside into the cold air.

“Nope,” Amber said. “And I didn’t really want to spend my day off breaking up with my boyfriend, but I guess that’s what ended up happening.”

“I’m really sorry,” Cyrus started to stay, but Amber held up a hand to stop him.

“It’s okay,” she said. “Now let’s never have this argument again.”

“…okay fine,” Cyrus finally acquiesced. He was about to say goodbye when she surprised him by wrapping her arms around him in a hug. He reciprocated, not sure what the gesture was for.

“Thank you,” she said as they broke apart.

“For what?” he asked in confusion.

“Being honest with me,” she said. “Telling me the truth. Even though it must have been scary. You know, that wasn’t what I meant when I asked you to not lie.”

“I know,” Cyrus said. “But I did want to tell you. I’ve been trying to tell more people. And it is scary, but every time I do it, it gets a little easier.”

She smiled at him, and after saying their goodbyes, they headed off in opposite directions. Cyrus was pleasantly surprised to find that he was much happier than he had been earlier. Not only had he mended things with his relationship with Amber, but he had come out to her. It was getting a little easier every time.


	3. TJ, Marty, & Iris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three for one, since these are all a bit shorter.

Before the Costume Day incident, Cyrus had played around with the idea of telling TJ. But every time that he thought he had an opportunity, something came along to interrupt that. Part of him was nervous; even though he and TJ had grown a lot closer, he wasn’t sure if he was reading the signs correctly. Maybe TJ only thought of him as a friend, and if that were the case, how would he react to finding out that Cyrus was gay? It had been scary enough telling Jonah, who had been nothing but super nice the entire time that Cyrus had known him.

But then Kira showed up and it was as though an invisible wedge had come in between Cyrus and TJ. And Cyrus tried to pretend that his heart wasn’t breaking every time he saw them together. He had realized a while ago that he had developed a crush on TJ, but he hadn’t realized how strong it was until it was threatened.

He had all but resigned himself to the inevitable; TJ liked girls and he liked Kira, and he only liked Cyrus as a friend. But then TJ had gotten up on the stage at the party and started playing a Lady Gaga song of all things. A song about acceptance and being yourself and celebrating your true self. Cyrus found himself getting caught up in the moment, singing his heart out with his favorite people in the world. After they finished performing, the crowd slowly moved back to chatting and dancing, and everyone who had been on stage drifted to various parts of the party.

Cyrus grabbed something to drink before deciding to go find TJ. If nothing else, he could find out about the other boy’s mysterious piano skills. In their conversation, he found the courage to broach the topic of Kira, even though he wanted to talk about anything other than that. To his surprise (and delight) he found that TJ had finally had enough of her. Their conversation was light and bantering, like always. To his even greater surprise, TJ opened up about his name. It was the last thing that Cyrus would have expected, but he felt a bit of a thrill at the fact that TJ had trusted him with it.

And then the tone of the conversation shifted, and a flicker of movement caught his eye. Glancing down, he saw TJ’s hand inching towards his own. Glancing back up, he saw the nervous apprehension in TJ’s eyes; it was the same that he probably had in his own every time he had told someone his truth. And so, he gently gave TJ an opening, heart pounding wildly as he hoped against hope. TJ grew bolder, brushing his fingers across the tops of Cyrus’, causing goosebumps to erupt.

And then TJ was sliding his fingers between Cyrus’. Their hands seemed to fit perfectly together, and for the first time, Cyrus didn’t have to say anything.

\----

A few weeks after the party, Cyrus found himself at The Spoon with Buffy and Marty. The two were arguing about something sports related that Cyrus had lost focus on a long time ago. As he sipped his milkshake and tried to figure out what they were talking about, his phone dinged at him. Glancing down at it, he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face when he saw it was from TJ.

“Is it Andi?” Buffy asked him as he swiped it open. Their friend was supposed to be meeting them there.

“No, it’s TJ,” Cyrus said, ignoring her teasing eye roll.

“So, I know I missed something. You guys are friends with him now?” Marty asked.

The other two stared at him in silence.

“What?” he asked in confusion.

“He and I…are dating,” Cyrus said.

Marty looked very confused for a moment. He glanced between Cyrus and Buffy, as though trying to figure out if the former was joking. Buffy had an eyebrow cocked as though she couldn’t believe he didn’t know this. Cyrus realized that he had never told Marty he was gay, but considering how much time he and TJ had spent together in the past few weeks, and how TJ almost constantly had his arm around Cyrus when they were together, he thought that Marty would have figured it out.

Apparently not.

“Wait, really?” Marty asked, still looking confused.

“Yup,” Cyrus replied. Marty appeared to contemplate it for another moment or two.

“Okay,” he said slowly. “Since when?”

“Since Andi’s party,” Cyrus said. Buffy rolled her eyes.

“They got together basically the same time we did,” she said, bumping his shoulder playfully.

“Nobody tells me anything!” Marty exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.

“Well, I’m telling you now,” Cyrus said with a slight smile. “TJ and I are dating. But we haven’t told a lot of people, so just keep it in our group for now.”

“Fair enough,” Marty said, taking a big bite of his hamburger.

A few moments later, he raised a finger in the air.

“Wait, did everyone know this but me?”

“Apparently,” Buffy said, and she and Cyrus cracked up.

\----

Cyrus was sitting in The Spoon, scrolling through his phone as he finished up the last of his baby taters. He was meeting Jonah to hang out, but the other boy was running late. When someone slid into the seat across from him, he glanced up, expecting it to be Jonah, but found to his surprise that it was Iris.

“Hi, Cyrus,” she smiled sweetly at him. “Is it okay if I sit with you? I’m just waiting for Amber to get done and then we’re going shopping.”

“Yeah, no problem,” he said, setting his phone down. “I’m waiting for Jonah but he’s not here yet.”

“So, how are you?” she asked. “Excited about graduating?”

“For sure,” he said. “Still can’t believe that I’m almost done with middle school, but I’m sure high school will be exciting.”

“It will be,” she assured him. “And you have some friends there already, so that’ll make it easier too.”

He was lucky in that regard. Having Amber as a friend would likely be beneficial, and it was nice that he knew Iris as well. While they hadn’t really hung out since they broke up, they messaged each other occasionally, usually to share memes or jokes about some of their shared interests.

“How about you?” he asked.

“I’m good,” she said. “A little stressed about finals, which is one of the things about high school that definitely isn’t fun, but once that’s done everything should be great.”

“I’ll bet,” he agreed. A comfortable silence fell between them, and a thought flashed into his mind. When he had broken up with her, he was still in the process of figuring out his sexuality and had barely figured out that he liked Jonah and not her. It had taken a while for him to work all that out – at one point he wondered if it were possible that he liked them both – but after their disastrous second kiss, it became fairly clear that it wasn’t the case.

He had known that breaking up with her was the right thing to do; it wasn’t fair to lead her on or make her think that there was a chance that their relationship would continue when he knew that he didn’t like her romantically. But it was still scary; he hadn’t even told Andi yet. He had put it off by avoiding her, but after running into her at the Renaissance Fair, he finally ended things. Luckily, she had taken it well and not pressed too much on the why.

While it had ended fairly well and they remained friendly, he still felt guilty about not telling her the whole truth. Which was why he decided that he finally would.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked.

“Sure,” she said, looking curious.

“Do you remember what I said when we broke up?” he said.

“Yeah,” she replied. “You thought we’d be better as friends.”

“I did,” he replied. “But that wasn’t the whole truth.”

“Did…you like someone else?” she asked.

“Um,” he said, surprised that she had guessed correctly. “That was part of it. But it’s a little more complicated.”

“How?” she asked, still looking curious. Not upset though, which he was grateful for.

“Well…the other person that I started liking was a guy,” he said. A look of surprise crossed her face and then it was replaced by a look of understanding.

“I guess that’s a pretty good reason,” she said with a smile, and Cyrus let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding.

“Yeah, well it was a surprise to me too,” he joked, and she laughed. “And I didn’t figure it out until after we had started dating. I would have never said yes to going out with you if I had realized before then.”

“It’s okay,” she said, giving him another smile. “I get it. You were always a good boyfriend. Although that does answer a few questions.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he said, grinning wryly, sure that they were both thinking of their second kiss.

“I’m finally done, thank God,” Amber suddenly showed up next to their table, pulling on her jacket. “Ready?”

“Yup!” Iris said, standing up. “I’ll see you around?”

“Definitely,” Cyrus said, waving goodbye as the two girls walked out.


	4. TJ Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone on Tumblr suggested a conversation between Cyrus and TJ about their sexualities, and I thought it would work well with this series. Even though they technically came out to each other by holding hands, we never saw them actually discussing the topic, so that's what this chapter is. 
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and feedback so far!

Cyrus and TJ had gone on three official dates since they had held hands at Andi’s party, and hung out a bunch of other times since then. Cyrus had decided to classify ‘dates’ as them going to a specific place, like a restaurant or the movies, while hang outs tended to happen more casually, and often involved them getting interrupted by friends or family members. Either way, there was a lot of hand holding and flirting going on in both cases.

They talked a lot. They talked about the Kira situation and they talked about whether to hold hands in public, and they talked about easier things like their friends’ drama, and what was going on at school. They had always talked a lot, and it came easy to them. Even if the topic was heavy or difficult, they were able to talk it out.

It was some point after their third date that Cyrus realized they had never talked about being gay. It was a weird thing for him to realize, but it struck him out of nowhere. While they had talked about their relationship in a lot of ways, they had never really discussed their sexualities. He had personally talked about it quite a bit with Buffy and Andi, but it hadn’t really come up with TJ.

It was weird, when he thought about it. If there was anyone that he should have been talking about it with, it was his boyfriend. And the more he thought about it, he couldn’t think of a time that TJ had really said anything about his own sexuality.

And so the next time that they hung out, Cyrus decided to bring it up. He made sure they were alone, so that there wasn’t any awkwardness with other people listening in. The two of them were in Cyrus’ room, bedroom door opened wide, as per his mother’s instructions. However, his parents were downstairs, so they had relative privacy. Cyrus was laying across his bed, while TJ sat on the floor, back against the side of the bed. They were working on homework, although Cyrus kept getting distracted by both his thoughts and his desire to start playing with TJ’s hair, which was only inches from his fingers and looking extra fluffy that day.

“Hey, Teej?” he said, finally abandoning his science homework.

“Mhm?” TJ murmured in response. 

“Are you gay?” Cyrus asked. There was silence for a moment, before TJ turned around to look at Cyrus incredulously.

“What?” he asked in confusion.

“Are you gay?” Cyrus asked again, his face serious.

“We…are dating,” TJ replied, giving Cyrus a concerned and confused look. “I thought that made it fairly obvious.”

“There are other sexualities besides gay and straight,” Cyrus said. “You could be bi for all I know.”

“No, I’m not,” TJ said, setting his book down and clambering up onto the bed. Cyrus sat up to face him. “What made you think that?”

“Well, I guess we never really talked about it,” Cyrus told him. “You could like girls and guys. I mean, I know now that you didn’t like Kira, but I thought it was a possibility for a while there.”

TJ made a face at the mention of Kira, but his expression turned serious as he considered what Cyrus was saying.

“No,” he said slowly. “I don’t like girls. I think I’ve known that for a really long time, but I wasn’t quite ready to admit it to myself. I just acted like a jerk to them to cover that up.”

“Really?” Cyrus said in surprise. TJ sighed heavily.

“Yeah,” he said. “I know now that I was just being an idiot, but back then I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“Is that why you were a jerk to Buffy?” Cyrus asked.

“It’s part of it,” TJ admitted. “I was also worried because she was really good. Basketball was the one thing I was good at and confident doing. I had worked hard to become captain, and then she came along and was super good at playing. And then add all the math stuff on top of it, and I was scared of her coming in and taking over everything in my life and being better than me at it.”

“Wow,” Cyrus said. “That was a lot at once.”

“It doesn’t excuse the way I acted though,” TJ said. “I didn’t know she’d end up tutoring me, and I was a jerk to her before then. I think I had gotten so used to being rude to girls that it was my first instinct when she tried out for the team. Which, now that I look back at it, was super messed up.”

“But you realized you were wrong,” Cyrus said gently. “And you apologized, and you’ll never do it again.”

“Definitely not,” TJ said. “I just wish I had never gotten into that type of thinking in the first place. I wasn’t really friends with any girls when I was younger, and there was never anybody who stepped in and told me to stop. All the guys I was friends with were the same way or just went along with it. And I don’t remember a teacher or other adult ever really saying anything.”

“I know,” Cyrus said. “I mean, I wasn’t mean to girls, but I saw other guys in my class acting like idiots sometimes. But then I had Buffy who would tell them to their faces that they were being idiots.”

TJ laughed shortly. “Yeah, if I had been friends with Buffy since I was a kid, I definitely would have turned out to be a different person.”

“You really think so?” Cyrus asked him with a grin. TJ noticed the expression on his boyfriend’s face and rolled his eyes.

“Please don’t tell her I said that.”

Cyrus giggled a little before growing serious again. “So, when did you figure it out? Aside from not liking girls, I mean.”

TJ glanced to the side, a small smile growing across his face. Then he looked back up at Cyrus.

“When I met you.”

“Wait, really?” Cyrus asked in surprise.

“Yeah,” TJ admitted. “I don’t think I realized it right away, but it didn’t take that long before I started to have a crush on you.”

Cyrus couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. Even though he and TJ were fully dating, and it wasn’t a secret that they liked each other, there was something about hearing TJ say out loud that he had a crush on him that made his heart speed up a bit.

“How did you finally realize it?” Cyrus asked, eager to hear more.

TJ considered it for a moment. “I mean, I realized fairly early on that you were different. I could talk to you in a way that I couldn’t with anyone else. It was like you got me, even though we barely knew each other at that point. And,” he paused, looking slightly bashful, “even though I didn’t quite realize it yet, I did think you were pretty cute.”

Cyrus’ grin grew even wider, causing TJ to kick half-heartedly at him. Cyrus giggled, batting the foot away. “And then?” he asked. “I was even cuter?”

TJ rolled his eyes at that comment. “I don’t know. We kept talking and hanging out. I think when everything with Buffy blew up, I realized that I had screwed up. And not only did I feel bad for what I had done, but I realized that by messing with her, I stood a real chance of losing you too. Because I knew you would choose her over me.”

Cyrus was silent after that comment. Little did TJ know that the exact situation that he had described had actually happened. Ultimately, he and Buffy had worked things out without TJ having any clue, but it wasn’t something Cyrus really wanted to admit out loud.

TJ must have read the expression on Cyrus’ face, because he reached out and squeezed Cyrus’ hand.

“It’s okay,” he said. “You would have been right to choose her. I was being a jerk, and the two of you had been friends for a really long time. I wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

“I hope that it never comes down to that,” Cyrus said quietly.

“It won’t,” TJ said. “Trust me, I learned my lesson.”

“Is that why you apologized to her? For me?” Cyrus asked.

TJ shook his head. “I did realize that I was wrong. I meant every word I said. And okay, _maybe_ you had a tiny bit to do with it.” Cyrus couldn’t help but smile a bit at that. “But I did want to make things right.”

“So, you don’t know when you first had a crush on me?” Cyrus asked, determined to get back to his original question.

“I mean, it kind of snuck up on me,” TJ admitted. “One day, we were just hanging out at the Spoon, and I thought that you looked cute that day. The thought just popped into my head. And it did scare me a little bit. Because of the implications that came with that thought. But I didn’t push it away, and over time, I had more thoughts like that. I thought you were cute, or funny, or fun to be around. I wanted to spend time with you, and I got excited when I saw that you had texted me. At some point, I started wanting to hold your hand or wrap my arm around you. And while it was scary, it was also exciting at the same time. Slowly, I came to accept the fact that I had a crush on you. It did take me a little longer to put together the fact that I had a crush on a boy, and that there weren’t any girls that I had ever liked.”

TJ paused, playing with the hem of his jeans. Cyrus kept quiet, waiting for him to continue. It was the most TJ had ever said on the subject, and he didn’t want to interject.

“I was in this weird head space where I was confused about how I wanted people to see me,” TJ continued. “I knew I liked you, but I was scared that people would figure it out. That _you_ would figure it out. Because I was scared of what your reaction would be. But at the same time, I didn’t want people thinking that I liked a girl. Like Kira. _Especially_ Kira,” he made a face. “But I didn’t know how to balance both of those sets of emotions.”

“I get that,” Cyrus said. “Kind of. What changed then?”

TJ contemplated it for a moment. “I’m not sure. I think it was a combination of being fed up with Kira being rude and just being tired of keeping it a secret. I saw you at the party, dancing like a maniac, and not caring who was watching.”

“Hey!” Cyrus interjected, but smiling anyways.

“You’ve always been so open with who you are,” TJ said. “It’s one of the things I admire most about you.”

Cyrus couldn’t help the bashful smile spreading across his face at the compliment. He had never had anyone say something like that to him before.

“I guess I figured that I had a choice to make,” TJ said. “I wasn’t exactly ready to get up in front of everyone and come out or anything crazy like that, but I could do something else that scared me.”

“Playing the piano?” Cyrus suggested.

TJ shrugged. “I figured out pretty early on that guys who play the piano for fun aren’t very intimidating. It was something else that people could use to possibly make fun of me for, so I kept it to myself. I guess it was my one secret, dorky hobby. So, getting up at the party and playing was a way for me to show another side of myself that I never had before.”

“And Lady Gaga?” Cyrus added with a grin. TJ just shrugged.

“The song just…fit,” he said. “It was about expressing who you were, and it was as close as I could get to my truth.”

Cyrus nodded in understanding. “That makes sense,” he said.

“What about you?” TJ asked.

“Me?” Cyrus asked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“How did you figure it out?” TJ asked. “You’ve never really talked about it, but you seem a lot more confident about it than I am.”

Cyrus sighed. “It’s a long story. It’s not completely different from yours.”

“Tell me,” TJ implored him. “I want to know.”

Cyrus pursed his lips, thinking back. The events of seventh grade seemed like a million years ago now.

“Well,” he said. “I guess it technically started shortly after I started dating this girl.”

“You had a girlfriend?” TJ interjected incredulously.

“Yes,” Cyrus said. He took in the look on TJ’s face and started laughing. “Are you jealous?”

“No,” TJ scoffed, but Cyrus just laughed more. “Who?”

“I don’t think you would know her,” Cyrus said. “She’s in high school.”

“You dated a high school girl while you were in seventh grade?” TJ said in disbelief. “How did I not know this?”

“I’ve never had a reason to tell you,” Cyrus said. “We started dating, had a disastrous first date, had a better second date, and then shortly after that, I realized I had a crush on a guy.”

“Oh,” TJ said, sounding hesitant now. “Who?”

Cyrus sighed heavily. “That’s a loaded question.”

“Not me then?” TJ asked.

“No,” Cyrus said softly, glancing over at him. “Although, in all fairness, I hadn’t met you yet.”

“Will you tell me who it was?” TJ asked him.

“Are you going to get jealous?” Cyrus retorted.

“Would I have a reason to?”

Cyrus rolled his eyes. “No. That crush ended a long time ago, and we’re much better off as friends.”

“It’s someone you’re friends with?” TJ replied, and Cyrus could tell he was running through the guys they were friends with, which was admittedly not a very long list.

“Was it…Jonah?” he asked hesitantly, and Cyrus nodded.

“Hmm,” TJ said, and Cyrus could tell that he was trying to keep his face neutral. Rolling his eyes again, Cyrus sighed.

“Trust me, that crush is long gone,” he said. “He was the first guy I was ever really friends with, and much cooler than I was, and it ended up turning into a crush. It ultimately meant nothing, and I spent pretty much the entire time giving Andi advice on how to deal with her crush and relationship with him.”

“Oh,” TJ said, his face switching from fake neutrality to understanding. “That must have sucked.”

“Yeah, it really did,” Cyrus admitted. “But in a way, it was a good thing. I spent quite a bit of time watching Jonah’s love life over the course of three different girlfriends, and I have to say, I probably dodged a bullet there.”

TJ laughed at that. “That bad, huh?”

“Oh, he’s a terrible boyfriend,” Cyrus giggled. “It’s honestly kind of amazing.” He paused, studying TJ’s face again. “You believe me, right?”

“Believe you?” TJ asked, confused.

“That I don’t have a crush on him anymore,” Cyrus clarified. “We’re just friends.”

“Does he know?” TJ asked. “That you had a crush on him.”

“Absolutely not,” Cyrus shook his head adamantly. “There’s no reason for me to tell him; it’s in the past, and it had literally zero impact on his life.”

“Okay,” TJ said slowly. “So, what happened with this girl?”

“Well, we went out on a few dates,” Cyrus explained. “I did like her – I still do. We had a lot in common, and she was really nice. But…I guess eventually I just figured out that I didn’t like her romantically. Even though it seemed like she was perfect for me, it just wasn’t working.”

TJ nodded, considering it. “So, you figured out that you only like guys and not girls?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus confirmed. “I wondered for a while if maybe I liked boys and girls. Like, maybe I had a crush on both of them at the same time? But then it became clear that I didn’t actually have feelings for Iris, and…well, that was that.”

“Hmm,” TJ said. “That must have been confusing.”

“Definitely,” Cyrus said. “And then it didn’t matter either way, because Jonah and Andi started dating, and so I was just crushing on someone who was dating my best friend.”

TJ made a sympathetic noise. “When did it stop? Your crush, I mean.”

Cyrus shrugged. “I’m not really sure. I know when I realized it one day, but it just gradually lessened until I only thought of him as a friend, and ultimately, I’m fine with that. And I did meet you at some point.”

He gave TJ a look, and the other boy suddenly looked a lot more interested.

“Oh yeah?” he said, waggling his eyebrows. “Tell me more.”

Cyrus laughed. “What do you want to know?”

“Tell me how I swept you off your feet,” TJ grinned. “I want to know everything.”

“I think it was similar to what you said,” Cyrus said. “There wasn’t one moment when I just _realized_ ; it happened slowly.”

“When did you really know though?” TJ asked.

“I don’t know,” Cyrus said, trying to cast his mind back. “I mean, at that point I knew that I was gay, so I knew that I liked guys. It became easier for me to recognize when I thought a guy was attractive. And I wasn’t blind,” he said, giving TJ a sly look. “I knew you were attractive.”

“Oh?” TJ asked, grinning.

“Yes,” Cyrus said, rolling his eyes. “I thought you were cute. But you were a scary cute guy the first time we met.”

TJ sighed heavily. “Yeah, I know.”

“But then we got to know each other,” Cyrus said. “And I learned that you weren’t so scary. That you could be really nice, and sometimes you would share what you were thinking. And you were fun to hang out with, even though you made me do scary things sometimes.”

TJ couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“You know,” Cyrus said contemplatively. “I think it was around the time of the gun incident.”

“Really?” TJ said incredulously. “ _That’s_ what made you realize you had a crush on me? If anything, that should have made you run the other way.”

“It wasn’t the gun itself,” Cyrus corrected him. “It was after that. I had already started to realize that I was attracted to you, but after I found out that you had done the right thing, even though it meant risking your friendships. You did something really scary, but it was the right thing. And you kept trying to make things right with me. That’s how I knew you cared.”

TJ was quiet for a moment. “I didn’t realize that it meant that much to you.”

Cyrus nodded. “I trusted you, but the whole thing was really scary. And then you made the effort to do the right thing. And if I’m being honest, I’ve never had someone blow my phone up like that before.”

TJ couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I was a little desperate,” he admitted.

“And I’m not used to getting that much attention,” Cyrus joked. “I don’t know what it was. After we settled everything, it just felt like we…” he trailed off.

“Got closer?” TJ suggested, and Cyrus nodded.

“I think it was after that when I finally accepted the fact that I had a crush on you,” he said. “There was a part of me that was convinced that you were straight, so I kept my hopes down. But then we talked at the park, and I thought I was reading signs off of you that maybe you liked me too.”

“Oh, I definitely did at that point,” TJ said. “I didn’t really know how to show it, but I did for sure.”

Cyrus smiled. “Hmm, well it’s nice to know that I was right.”

TJ flopped back onto the bed and stretched out. “I wish I had been as comfortable about it back then,” he said. “Maybe it would have made it easier.”

“It’s fine that you weren’t,” Cyrus said. “Everyone comes to terms with things at different paces. Your journey was always going to look different than mine.”

“You just seem so much more confident about it,” TJ said. “I still don’t think I’m there yet.”

“That’s fine,” Cyrus said softly, nudging TJ with his foot. His boyfriend sat up, and Cyrus reached out to grab his hand. “We can figure this out together.”

TJ smiled at him and squeezed his hand back.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”


	5. Everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter; once I started writing I couldn't stop haha. Hope you enjoy it!

It was in the middle of when he was working on his homework one night that Cyrus decided that he wanted to be out.

He had already come out to his family and close friends. Everyone had been accepting and supportive, and he was the happiest he had been in a long time. He and TJ were dating, and while they were keeping it somewhat a secret, Cyrus was loving every second of it.

He and TJ had talked quite a bit about it. When they had first gotten together, Cyrus had already come out to a few people. TJ hadn’t told anyone; when he grabbed Cyrus’ hand, that was the first time he came out to anyone. TJ had been okay with Cyrus telling Andi, Buffy, and Jonah about the fact that they were dating, and it slowly spread to the rest of their friend group. Both of them discussed the concept of coming out at school. Neither of them were sure if they were ready yet. While they figured that most people probably wouldn’t care that much, they really didn’t know what the overall reaction would be, and if there would be people who would give them a hard time.

Cyrus wanted to be out. But it was scary, and for a long time he was worried about people finding out. He wasn’t ignorant; he knew what the risks could be. Even telling his closest friends and wondering what their reactions would be had been terrifying. But the more people that he told, the easier it slowly became. And now he knew he had a whole group of people who would be there to support him if anyone gave him trouble.

But coming out was exhausting. Working up the courage to tell people was nerve-wracking, and while it felt great to get it over with, he usually managed to ramp up his anxiety in anticipation of telling someone. He wanted to be out, but he didn’t want to have to make a big production of coming out. And there was TJ to consider. His boyfriend had struggled even more with coming out to people. TJ still tended to be more concerned with what other people thought of him, and it had taken him a great deal of effort to trust people and let them see the sides of him that he usually kept hidden.

Cyrus didn’t want to make TJ feel like he was being pressured to come out as well. He knew that the two of them were on somewhat different paths when it came to their individual journeys; it just so happened that they had managed to figure out the part where they liked each other and had gotten together. He knew that he would have to have a conversation with his boyfriend before he made any decisions.

A few days after his revelation, they ended up hanging out together at Cyrus’ house, having made a half-hearted attempt at working on homework. Cyrus was sitting sideways on his bed, back up against the wall, while TJ had flopped down the long way on the bed, his head resting near Cyrus’ knees. It was still new and thrilling that they could be like this; casually laying across each other or even cuddling whenever they wanted. Cyrus was currently running his fingers absentmindedly through TJ’s hair when he decided to bring up the topic.

“I was thinking the other day,” he started off.

“About what?” TJ asked, his eyes closed, clearly enjoying the attention his hair was receiving.

“About coming out,” Cyrus said. “To everyone.”

TJ opened his eyes and sat up, dislodging Cyrus’ hand in the process. “Really?” he said in surprise.

“Yeah, I think I’m ready,” Cyrus replied. TJ looked surprised and a little worried. “Just me though,” Cyrus assured his boyfriend. “If you’re not ready yet, you definitely don’t have to. I can come out without telling anyone that we’re dating.”

“I know,” TJ said. He reseated himself so he was facing Cyrus with his legs crossed. “I…I don’t know. Part of me wants to, but the other part of me just isn’t ready yet.”

“I know how you feel,” Cyrus said, reaching out to grab TJ’s hand. “It’s okay. I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you to come out too.”

“You’re not,” TJ assured him. He flashed Cyrus a crooked smile. “You’re a lot braver than me.”

Cyrus couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Not really. I’m pretty sure you’re much more of a risk-taker.”

“You know what I mean,” TJ rolled his eyes. Cyrus squeezed his hand, his expression turning serious.

“Not being ready to come out doesn’t mean that you’re not brave,” he said gently. “It’s scary. And there are reasons not to.”

“I know,” TJ said, squeezing back. “And one day I will be ready. I just don’t think it’s now.”

They sat there in silence for a moment, holding hands. TJ broke the silence when he asked,

“How are you going to do it?”

“I’m not sure,” Cyrus confessed. “Short of announcing it over the loudspeaker, I don’t know how I would come out to the entire school. And I don’t think I want to do some big announcement. I wish it just could…I don’t know. Exist?”

“You could put something on social media,” TJ suggested.

“I thought about that,” Cyrus said. “But I don’t have that many people following me. And it still feels like a huge big deal. I don’t want it to be a big deal. I just want to be honest about who I am.”

“Well,” TJ said, “why don’t you just do that? If someone asks, you just tell the truth.”

“That is kind of what I was thinking,” Cyrus said. “But nobody’s ever actually asked me before, so it’s not like it’s come up in casual conversation.”

“Hmm,” TJ mused, casting his gaze around the room as he thought. His eyes landed on the small rainbow flag that Cyrus had perched on his desk. “What about something like that?” he said, pointing at it.

“A flag?” Cyrus said.

“Yeah, but in your locker or something,” TJ suggested. “It’s there, so if people see it they can ask, but you don’t have to say anything first.”

“That might work,” Cyrus said slowly, considering it. “I’ll think about it.”

TJ grinned at him and leaned in for a kiss. “Just let me know whatever you decide.”

“Of course,” Cyrus said, gladly reciprocating the kiss.

\--

Cyrus pondered it for a few days, searching for flags online. Most of them were fairly big and would something he would more likely hang in his room. While he tucked that idea away in the back of his mind for later, he kept looking. At one point in his browsing, his eye caught on a set of rainbow pins. That led to a different category of all sorts of rainbow and pride themed pins.

He hadn’t considered a pin. He knew that they were trendy; Andi had a whole slew on her backpack. He didn’t think that he would want to wear it on his shirt every day, if for no other reason than he wouldn’t want to have to change it every day. But he could pin it on his own bag. That way it was always there and visible, but not in the way, and people could ask him about it if they wanted.

After looking at a few options, he decided to talk to Andi first. She had an impressive collection of all sorts of pins, and he would see if he could get one from her first before buying one.

\--

“Of course I have pins!” Andi said as she carried over a bucket to the bed where Cyrus and Buffy were sitting. “I’m sure I have some rainbow ones in here. I did go through a rainbow phase in the fourth grade, remember?”

“It’s hard to forget,” Buffy said wryly. “You pulled together some interesting outfits using all the colors.”

Andi stuck her tongue out at Buffy before dumping the bucket onto the bed. Cyrus and Buffy had to scoot back to the edges of the bed as hundreds of small pins came cascading out onto the mattress. It was an impressive collection; there were so many different types of pins that Cyrus didn’t know where to begin.

“Holy crap,” Buffy said as she started to rummage through them. “I didn’t realize you had this many.”

“Neither did I,” Andi said. “It’s amazing how they can just collect like that and I don’t even notice.”

The three were quiet for a few minutes as they picked their way through the pile.

“Here’s a rainbow,” Buffy announced at one point. “It’s not a flag and it has some clouds at the bottom, but it is a rainbow.”

“Let’s make a ‘maybe’ pile,” Cyrus suggested. “In case there isn’t the type I’m looking for.”

They continued to look, and after a few more minutes, Cyrus spotted another rainbow one. Grabbing it, he was surprised to see that it looked exactly like some of the ones he had found online.

“This one!” he exclaimed, holding it up. “I think it’s actually the real one too.”

Buffy grabbed it from him and examined it. “Andi, did you know that you had a gay pride pin?”

“No,” Andi laughed, leaning over to look at it. “I just saw it in a store, thought that it was a pretty rainbow, and bought it.”

The three of them laughed at the image of fourth grade Andi buying a pride pin without realizing it.

“You know what?” Andi said, her face lighting up. “I know why.”

“Why?” Cyrus asked, confused.

“It was the universe!” she declared. “That’s why I bought this pin! So that one day –” she leaned over to press the pin into his hand. “I could give it to you.”

Cyrus let his fingers curl over the pin, and he smiled at his friend. “I guess the universe knew what was up.”

Later that night, he deliberated on where to pin it. He knew it was going on his bag, but he wasn’t sure whether to put it on top of the flap or underneath it. If it was under, fewer people were likely to see it. The whole point was for people to see it, but he was still a little nervous. Finally, he decided to put it on top of the flat. He had made his decision, and he was going to stick to it. When he curled up into bed that night, he felt a little flash of nerves at the thought of the next day at school, but he was determined to see it through.

At school, he walked through the halls, feeling more conspicuous than ever. In reality, most people he passed in the hall barely glanced at him, and he hadn’t seen anyone looking at his bag. By the end of the day, not a single person had commented on the pin. Granted, it was pretty small, and he didn’t really socialize with a ton of people outside of his friend group. He was a weird mix of relieved and annoyed. He almost wished that someone would say something so he wouldn’t have to keep waiting for a reaction.

The rest of the week passed by and he actually forgot that the pin was there, unless he happened to pull the flap up to get something out of his bag. It wasn’t until later in the second week that someone finally said something.

Callie, one of the girls in his science class had missed a few classes and asked him for the notes. They had agreed to meet at his locker before lunch to exchange materials. As he dug in his locker for his notebook, her eyes drifted down to his bag, which was hanging at his hip.

“Here it is!” Cyrus exclaimed as he extracted his science notebook. “These three pages should have everything you missed.”

“Thanks,” she replied, pulling out her phone to take pictures of the pages.

“No problem,” Cyrus said. When she finished, he tossed his notebook back into his locker.

“Can I ask you something?” Callie asked him hesitantly.

“Sure,” he said.

“Is that, like, a gay pride pin?” she asked, pointing at it. He glanced down at it and then back up at her. The expression on her face was one of curiosity more than anything.

“Yes,” he said, feeling his heart pounding a little faster than usual.

“Oh,” she said. Then –

“Are you…?”

“Uh, yeah,” he replied, feeling a little awkward.

“Oh! Okay,” Callie said, sounding as awkward as he felt. “That’s cool.” She looked a little as though she didn’t know what else to say. “Um, thanks for the notes again.”

“You’re welcome,” Cyrus said, and she started to walk away, giving a little wave.

He wasn’t really sure what to make of the interaction. She hadn’t seemed rude or anything; just a little unsure. He supposed that most people didn’t really know how to respond if they found out someone was gay, especially if it wasn’t someone they were really close with.

The rest of the day, he felt as though he was on high alert again. Callie wasn’t a super gossipy type, but he knew if she told even one or two people that it would spread to the rest of the school fairly quickly. He didn’t notice anything the first half of the day, but by lunchtime he had started to notice a few people giving him curious glances and even more looking at his bag, where his little pin stood out brightly against the plan color of the bag.

“You know, I heard the craziest rumor today,” Buffy said as she leaned against the lockers next to his as he switched books between seventh and eighth hour.

“Oh really?” Cyrus said. “What was it?”

“I heard that you were gay,” she said, giving him a serious look.

“Well, there was something I was meaning to tell you,” he replied, earning a scoff from her.

“Did someone ask you?” she asked, glancing down at his pin.

“Yeah,” he replied, telling her what had happened in the morning.

“Are you okay with it?” she asked, looking serious again.

“Yes,” he replied earnestly. “This was the whole point.

“All right,” she said. “Just making sure. Let me know if anyone gives you a hard time.”

“I know,” he said with an affectionate eye roll.

But the rest of the day was pretty normal. He got a few more curious glances, but nobody really commented. He knew that there was likely a lot of gossip flying around the school, but there wasn’t anything said to his face. A few of his friends texted him, asking if things were fine, and he replied affirmatively. TJ sent him a text saying that he was proud of Cyrus, which Cyrus may have reread a few times with a smile on his face.

The rest of the week proceeded in a similar fashion. However, Cyrus ignored any stares and tried to tune out the whispers that seemed to increase wherever he went. There were some people who smiled at him more in the halls, which surprised him a bit. At one point, he had to wonder if the teachers had heard the gossip, as that was something that tended to happen. None of his teachers were treating him any differently though, which he was grateful for. The last thing he wanted was for any of this to make him stand out. That was a big part of why he hadn’t wanted to make a big announcement about it.

At the end of the day on Friday, he went to dump his books in his locker, and was surprised when a handwritten note fluttered out after he opened his door. Fearing the worst, he picked it up and unfolded it.

_Hi Cyrus,_

_You don’t know me, but I heard some of the things that people have been saying about you this week. Someone said you told someone else that you were gay. I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re really brave. I’ve never told anyone this before, but I think I like girls. I’ve never liked any boys, but I keep noticing how pretty my best friend is. It’s really scary to even think about telling anyone but now the whole school knows about you and you seem okay with it. I think that it’s really awesome that you were brave enough to let everyone know, and that you’re an inspiration to me. I don’t think I’m ready to tell everyone like you did, but I think I might tell one of my friends. I’m pretty sure that she’ll be supportive._

_I guess I wanted to thank you and tell you that you’re not alone. Even though no one else in the school is saying anything, I bet there are more people like us._

_Thanks._

It wasn’t signed, but it didn’t matter. Cyrus could feel tears welling up, and he brushed them away. He didn’t want to start crying in the middle of the hallway. ignoring the bustle of his classmates around him as they eagerly headed out for the weekend, he reread the letter a few more times. Of everything that could have happened as a result of him coming out, this wasn’t what he had expected. But he found that it made all the stares and whispers worth it. And it did make him feel better; while he had already known that there was at least one other person besides himself at the school who was gay, this girl didn’t.

Knowing that there was someone else besides just himself and TJ was a comforting thought. For the longest time, he had felt alone and apart from the rest of his peers. Even though he had friends who were supportive, none of them really knew what he had been going through, or how it felt to be different from everyone else at school. But now he knew that there were other people out there just like him.

Tucking the note carefully into his backpack, he gathered the rest of his things and headed out the door to meet his friends, feeling satisfied with his decision at last.

\---

“All right, let’s get started,” Dr. Metcalf called out over the chattering of his colleagues. They had gathered for their weekly staff meeting to discuss what was going on in the school. Aside from giving them updates on events and activities, it was a chance for them to discuss any concerns or celebrations with their students.

After going over a few routine things, he opened the discussion up to anything that people wanted to talk about.

“So, there is a matter I’d like to bring up,” Ms. Dawson, one of the English teachers said. “My daughter mentioned something to me the other day, and I have been hearing some of the rumors flying around in my classes as well. It’s in regards to one of the students.”

“I’m pretty sure I know what you’re talking about,” one of the math teachers said.

“What rumor?” Metcalf asked, bracing himself for the worst. The teachers usually caught wind of gossip before he did, simply because they interacted with the students more frequently than he was able to. And when it came to middle school gossip and rumors, there were a lot of possibilities and most of them weren’t great.

“From what I understand,” Ms. Dawson said, “there are some rumors flying around that a student is gay. According to my daughter, she heard from several people, but not from the student in question.”

“Is this something that anyone else has been hearing?” Metcalf asked. A few teachers chimed in affirmatively, while others seemed unaware.

“Do we know if it’s a rumor or if there’s any basis to this?” Mrs. Roberts asked.

“I don’t know for certain, but it doesn’t seem like it was a rumor started maliciously,” Ms. Dawson replied. “I can ask her if she knows more tonight.”

“Do you know who the student in question is?” Metcalf asked.

“Cyrus Goodman,” she said. A few people nodded in agreement, while others looked surprised. 

“Okay,” Metcalf said, considering the situation. “Cathy?” he addressed the school counselor. “Can you meet with him? Check on things and make sure he’s okay?”

“Of course,” she agreed.

\--

And so, during his fourth hour study hall, Cyrus found himself being called down to the counselor’s office. Feeling confused, he knocked on the door.

“Cyrus! Come on in!” the counselor said in an upbeat tone. He entered, still not sure what was going on.

“How are you doing?” she asked, gesturing at the chair for him to sit down. Settling himself in, he replied,

“I’m fine, thanks.”

“How are your classes going?” she asked.

“Everything’s good,” he said slowly. “No more gym, so my GPA is looking up.”

She smiled indulgently at him, and he wished she would just get to whatever the point was. He was familiar enough with counseling techniques, and he knew she was trying to make him feel comfortable.

“Are you excited about graduating soon?” she asked, shifting some of the papers on her desk. “Lots of big changes coming soon.”

“Yeah, it should be fun,” he said. “Ms. Roberts, is there a reason I’m here? Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened,” she assured him. “I just like to check in with students from time to time. See how they’re doing.”

“Well, I’m doing okay,” he replied, starting to suspect the reason why he had been called down. “And all of my parents are therapists, so I always have people checking in on me.”

“I know,” she said, smiling apologetically. “But we do want to keep up with you in the context of school as well.”

“Ms. Roberts, is this about everyone talking about me being gay?” Cyrus finally said, wanting to cut to the issue of the matter. He was a flash of surprise cross her face before it was replaced with a more neutral expression. So his suspicion was correct.

“The staff did become aware of some rumors that had surfaced in the student body, and I wanted to make sure that you were doing all right.”

“Doing all right…being gay?” he asked in confusion.

The same expression of brief surprise crossed her face again, and she corrected herself.

“What I meant was that there can be issues of bullying and harassment when rumors start, and I wanted to make sure that none of that was occurring.”

“Oh,” Cyrus said. “No, not really. I’ve gotten a few weird stares and I’m sure people are saying stuff behind my back, but nobody’s given me any trouble if that’s what you mean.”

“Okay,” she replied. “I do want you to know that I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to, or if there are any issues that you have with any students.”

“Sounds good,” Cyrus said.

“Do you have people in your life that are supportive of you?” she asked next. “Have you talked to your parents, for example?”

“Oh, yeah, I told my parents a while ago,” Cyrus said. “They’re fine. And all of my friends have known for a while too. It’s all good.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” she smiled at him. “Is there anything else you feel that you’d like to talk about? Anything that we can help with?”

Cyrus shrugged. “Not that I can really think of right now. I guess just that if there are any problems that it would be handled appropriately by the school.”

“That is something that we absolutely will do,” she assured him. “Just let any of the staff know if you have any issues.”

“Okay,” he replied. “Do the other teachers know already?”

“Most of the staff are aware of rumors only,” she said, somewhat apologetic. “They do hear what students are saying in their classes, and some of the teachers do have students here.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I kind of figured that. I guess I would rather that everyone was on the same page.”

“You’re sure?” she asked. Cyrus simply nodded.

“Is there anything else?” he asked. “Or am I free to go?”

“I have nothing else,” she replied with another wide smile. “My door is always open if you do need anything.”

He smiled back before heading back to class.

\--

Later that day, Ms. Roberts went over to the principal’s office to update Dr. Metcalf.

“I talked to Cyrus Goodman today,” she said. “He’s doing just fine from what I could tell.”

“Was he upset by these rumors?” Metcalf asked.

She shook her head. “He was very matter-of-fact about the whole thing. He just wanted to make sure that he would be supported by the school should there be any issues.”

“Hmm,” he mused. “I’m thinking it may be a good idea for the staff to have some extra training in that regard then. I’ll look into something for our next staff development day.”

“I agree,” she said. “I’m sure there are people on the staff who may feel out of their element and would like support in this area. Besides, he likely isn’t the only LGBTQ student we have, and he certainly won’t be the last.”

After she left, Metcalf sat there in silence, musing over the situation. Most of the schools he had worked at before Shadyside had been in bigger cities that already had resources and support in place for staff. Shadyside was very much a small town and didn’t have anything like that. And while some places tended to keep up with current events, smaller towns did tend to lag in that area, especially considering the attitudes of the people who lived there.

But then things had changed so much just in the past few years. Ten years ago, with a different group of students, there would have likely been a bigger and more negative reaction. But times had changed, and so had the students. As he contemplated, Metcalf leaned over and pulled open his center desk drawer. Tucked in between the post-it notes and extra pens was a small photo of himself with his husband.

He kept it tucked away because he didn’t know what the reaction would be. Over the course of his long career of working in schools, he had kept part of himself private from his colleagues. While things had changed, especially in the last decade or so, there were still many people with prejudices and strong beliefs. And even more so than his colleagues, he knew that there were many parents who would raise objection if they knew he was gay and married to another man, especially in a small town like this.

Maybe one day he’d be able to put that picture in a frame on his desk, but he knew that it wasn’t going to be today. But what he could do was make sure that the students in his school didn’t feel like they weren’t welcome. He would make sure that the staff was trained on how to handle any situations that may come up, and how to support students that needed it.

The bell rang, signaling a period change. He headed out into the hallway, where he occasionally stood to watch the students changing classes. Having to spend most of his day in his office meant that he didn’t get to interact with the students on a regular basis, unless they were being sent to his office for some reason. As he stood there, watching the flow of students moving back and forth, his eye caught the group about halfway down the hall by the lockers.

Cyrus Goodman was standing there with Buffy Driscoll and Jonah Beck while Andi Mack rummaged through her locker. The group was laughing at something, and they looked as though they didn’t have a care in the world. Which was a good thing, Metcalf mused. Even a few years ago, the situation could have easily played itself out much differently. The fact that Cyrus had such a tight-knit group of supportive friends was a blessing that not everyone in his situation had. And knowing how willing that group was to fight for what they believed in was also a benefit for him.

A pair of boys approached the group, and one of them – he was pretty sure his name was Marty – threw his arm around Buffy’s shoulders. The other – TJ Kippen – leaned up against the locker next to where Cyrus was standing. As Metcalf watched, TJ engaged Cyrus in conversation, and his left hand drifted towards Cyrus’ right. The two briefly brushed their fingers together and exchanged a soft smile. It was brief and subtle enough that the average student walking past wouldn’t have noticed it. But those who knew what that was like – having to hide in plain sight – could recognize it for what it meant.

As the warning bell rang, Metcalf smiled at a few students before retreating to his office. He started looking for staff trainings and musing over the revelations from the last few days. He always knew that there were LGBTQ students in every school – he had been one himself many years ago. And now he knew that he had to do the best he could to support them. While it had been something he had sorely lacked when he was younger, he now was in a position where he could help.


	6. Everyone again, with TJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this entire story written, but I keep forgetting to update it! I referenced a few sections of this from my Languages of Love fic, but you don't need to read that in order to understand this; I'm just trying to keep a consistency of sorts across what I'm writing.
> 
> While this story is focused on Cyrus and his coming out, I did want to write a chapter where he and TJ are officially out as a couple, and so that's why this chapter is from TJ's point of view instead.

Over the course of the six months since they had started dating, Cyrus and TJ had talked a lot. They talked about their relationship and their sexualities and who they were comfortable coming out to and how fast and how slow they wanted to take things. Cyrus had been ready to come out to everyone before TJ, and he had done so. They had talked about going public with their relationship, and ultimately, it came down to when TJ was ready to come out.

He wanted to. He wanted to very badly, but every time he thought about it, he got scared. It had taken him a while to come to terms with his sexuality and even admit to himself that he had a crush on another boy. And then he had to work up the courage to tell that boy about his crush. And just when he had seriously started thinking about it, someone had come along and scared him back into hiding.

Kira had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and in a manner of minutes, somehow figured out his biggest secret and knocked him so off balance with his fear of people finding out. It felt as though he had been pushed back so many steps, and to his horror, he found a wedge being driven between himself and Cyrus. Countless nights had found TJ pacing his bedroom, going back and forth on how to solve the problem that he had ended up in. He could come clean; tell Cyrus the truth about how he felt, or at least the fact that he liked boys. And he could handle that. He could come out to Cyrus. He felt confident enough that Cyrus would be accepting of him. He didn’t need to confess his crush, but he could be at least a little bit honest.

But then he remembered Kira and how she had figured out that he liked Cyrus, and if he wasn’t careful, she might say something. And then not only would Cyrus know, but everyone else would. And that was something that he wasn’t ready for yet.

It felt as though he was stuck, but then they were at the party and he was watching Cyrus dance – badly – but as though he didn’t have a care in the world. Kira’s derisive laughter cut through his thoughts, and he wasn’t sure what it was, but something in him finally snapped. Standing up to her was scary; his heart was pounding quickly the entire time. But then she left. And he felt as though he was free.

If it had been any other night, he probably wouldn’t have had the courage to get up on stage. But he was riding on a high, and before he knew it, he was standing behind the piano playing, and then Cyrus was there, singing, and smiling at him in a way that made his heart skip a beat.

Afterwards, when Cyrus found him outside, it started to sink in what had happened. He felt more vulnerable than he could ever remember (and he had been vulnerable in front of Cyrus many times before). And so, it took little prodding from Cyrus for him to admit another one of his secrets that he had always kept locked up tight.

With that vulnerability fresh, he kept going. It was as though there was some invisible force operating on him that night, making him want to share all his secrets and open himself up to the world piece by piece.

(It wasn’t the whole world; it was mostly just Cyrus, but to him, it was the same thing.)

That same piece of courage is what made him inch his fingers closer to the other boy’s hand, and to finally move his hand all the way to intertwine his fingers with Cyrus’. His heart was pounding so loudly that he was sure Cyrus could hear it, but all that mattered was the smile and sigh of relief from Cyrus that echoed his own.

They started slowly, figuring each other out in this new way. They let a few people in; TJ knew well enough that Cyrus didn’t keep anything from his friends, and although it was slightly terrifying for him to let anyone else know, he soon found that he had a group of people there for him no matter what. That was another new experience for him, and he realized that it was something he greatly appreciated. And they supported him, no matter what. For months, he had kept so much of himself a secret from the world, but slowly he was learning to open up to others.

And then Cyrus started talking about wanting to come out. Just himself, not both of them. TJ both understood what he meant and was scared of it at the same time. Cyrus made it very clear that if this was going to happen, it would just be him coming out as gay. He reassured TJ many times that he wasn’t trying to put any pressure on TJ to come out, and that he should do it when he was ready to. Cyrus could come out without revealing that he was in a relationship with anyone.

Even though TJ didn’t voice it, he had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, he supported Cyrus and understood why he wanted to take that step. He had already come out to a lot of people and was brave enough to tell everyone. There was a freeing feeling in not keeping it a secret, so he got why Cyrus wanted that. But on the other hand, there were a lot of conflicting feelings bouncing around in him.

He trusted Cyrus when he said he wouldn’t pressure TJ to come out, and he knew that his boyfriend would be true to his word. But there was an unspoken pressure there, whether Cyrus had intended it or not. Cyrus would be out, but he wouldn’t be. They were still in a relationship, and Cyrus would be forced to continue to hide that because of TJ. It didn’t seem fair, even though Cyrus had never complained about it.

And once people knew that Cyrus was gay, they might scrutinize his actions around other guys in a different way. While he had a couple of guy friends, it wasn’t a ton, and there was a chance that people could figure out that there was something going on between the two of them. According to Buffy, they had a tendency to flirt pretty blatantly in public, even though they were trying to keep things under wraps. TJ wasn’t sure if she was right or not; he tried to keep the flirting down to a minimum when they were at school. If they were out, he would be much more blatant about it.

It was frustrating; he wanted to tell everyone in the world that he and Cyrus were dating, but at the same time, he wasn’t ready for the world to know that he was gay. He knew that he would have to work through that at some point, but he was just still too scared.

And then Cyrus came out. It was a quiet coming out, but before long, the entire school knew. TJ pushed away any worries that he may have had, because he could see how nervous Cyrus was about it. Even though he couldn’t support Cyrus fully the way he wanted to in public yet, he could still be there as a shoulder to lean on and someone to rant to. While Cyrus put on an air of unconcernedness, TJ knew that he was still nervous about how people would react. Nobody had given him any trouble about it, but TJ heard whispers and gossip about it.

The thing that irked him the most were the people who said that it was obvious, or that they had always figured that he was gay. Not only were they stereotyping Cyrus, but they were assuming things about him. TJ was willing to bet that most of the people who talked about it barely knew Cyrus, if at all. And if he, TJ, who had been friends with Cyrus for well over a year, hadn’t known for sure that Cyrus was gay - despite desperately searching for signs that he was – then people who didn’t know him at all wouldn’t have known.

Every time that he overheard a comment like that, it took all of his willpower to not snap back at the person. He knew that if he got into an argument with someone about Cyrus, he would inadvertently out himself no matter what. He was immensely proud of his boyfriend, but also protective of him at the same time. Even though he knew that Cyrus could stand up for himself, he didn’t always do so, being more willing to let things go.

As the school year went on, he played with the idea of coming out more and more. They would be graduating soon, and high school would be a fresh start of sorts. At some point, TJ realized that he had unconsciously decided that he would be out in high school. Whenever he pictured what his time there would be like, he was holding hands with Cyrus in the hallways and kissing him goodbye before class. It was a daydream that he had entertained well before they had ever started dating, and now he had the opportunity to make it a reality.

It still scared him. Coming out to everyone. Unlike Cyrus, his reputation in school was that of the jock, the popular guy, who still scared sixth graders. Even though he had changed a lot over the course of his middle school years, his reputation lingered a bit, and he was sure that nobody would have guessed that he was gay. But he was, and one day he was going to let the world know.

The idea sat in the back of his mind for months. He deliberated on it, trying to decide what would work best. Should he come out before graduation? Over the summer? The first day of freshman year? He wasn’t opposed to the idea of strolling up to school on the first day, hand in hand with Cyrus.

During Field Day activities near the end of their eighth-grade year, he took a chance and held Cyrus’ hand right out there in the open. He hadn’t planned it, but it just felt right. He could tell Cyrus was feeling a little out of things, since he wasn’t very good at any of the athletic activities. So, TJ had insisted that they be partners, no matter what, and he grabbed Cyrus’ hand as they stood in the field, surrounded by their classmates.

Cyrus looked very surprised by the gesture, and TJ found himself shaking with nerves. But the familiar feeling of Cyrus’ hand in his own comforted him, and he squeezed it, seeking reassurance. Cyrus squeezed back and smiled at him.

And nothing happened. Nobody saw them, or if they did, nobody said anything about it. They did the Field Day activities and lost spectacularly. But it had a profound impact on TJ, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Before he could make a decision one way or another, the school year ended, and they graduated eighth grade. He hadn’t come out yet, but he was starting to feel more confident about doing so.

As June rolled around, Cyrus started talking about pride. There was a parade in a nearby city, and they had roped Bex and Bowie into taking them. It was the first time any of them (aside from Andi’s parents) would be going to pride, and Cyrus was bouncing off the walls in excitement. TJ was excited too and found himself browsing through pictures on Insta one night to try and get an idea of what it would be like.

He was scrolling past pictures of happy couples and friend groups all decked out in rainbows when he realized that he wanted to be able to do that. He wanted to post a picture of himself and Cyrus at pride, clearly showing that they were a couple. They had taken pictures together, of course, but they had never posted any of them. There were pictures of their hands, entwined. There were pictures of Cyrus kissing him on the cheek. There were pictures of TJ wrapping his arms around Cyrus’ waist from behind. There was one that Andi had taken, where TJ was laying on the couch in Buffy’s basement, his head on Cyrus’ lap, with Cyrus’ fingers in his hair.

TJ had all of these saved on his phone, and he would scroll through them often, but he had never worked up the courage to post any of them. More than anything, he wanted to share with everyone that he and Cyrus were together and how much he cared for the other boy, but he was still scared.

But now they were going to pride. And he decided that he would take a picture with Cyrus there and share it with the world.

When he told Cyrus what he wanted to do, Cyrus’ grin grew wider than he had ever seen before, and his boyfriend wrapped him in a hug. He didn’t make a big deal out of it aside from that, which TJ was grateful for. Even though he knew it was a big deal, if he was constantly reminded of that fact, he was afraid he would chicken out.

Pride was an experience he knew he would never forget. Everyone was wearing some kind of pride-themed shirt, and Andi had painted rainbow stripes on everyone’s faces. And the crowd around them was buzzing with energy and happiness. It was a blur of rainbows and other colorful flag, each indicating someone’s identity. People were holding hands and kissing and hugging and celebrating who they were. And when TJ reached out to take Cyrus’ hand, he felt happiness and for the first time, he was able to do so in public without any worry.

The day ended far too soon, but TJ collapsed into bed that night in the best mood of his life. He had let Cyrus know ahead of time that he would be posting a picture of them together. Cyrus had simply nodded and kissed him. He knew what a big deal it was for TJ; not only was he coming out to everyone, but it would also be the first time they announced that they were a couple. TJ had asked him if he wanted to know beforehand which picture he was using, but Cyrus had shaken his head no.

“This is about you,” he said. “I’m excited to let everyone know that we’re dating, but this is your coming out, so you do what is best for you.”

As TJ lay in bed, he flipped through the photos on his phone, feeling nothing but happiness and love. He had gotten tons of pictures, but his favorite was of him and Cyrus. He had his arm wrapped around the top of Cyrus’ shoulders and chest and he was pressing a kiss to Cyrus’ cheek. Cyrus’ hands were clasped around TJ’s arm, and they both were beaming with happiness. That was the one, he decided that he would use to tell the world how much he loved the boy he was with. 

After prepping the photo, his finger hovered over the ‘post’ button for a moment. His heart was pounding; he knew that this would change his life forever, and he was about to cross a line that he couldn’t go back over. Gazing at his and Cyrus’ happy faces in the photo, he took a deep breath and clicked to post the photo.

He shut his phone off once he saw that it had posted successfully and decided that he wouldn’t look until the next day. Normally, he probably would have had trouble falling asleep, but he was worn out from the events of the day and drifted off easily. When he woke the next morning, he would be inundated with a slew of notifications, either congratulating him or showing support for the pair of them. And despite his initial fears, he would be happy to be out


	7. The rest of the family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long wait; my life has been very busy lately. This is technically the last chapter, but I did write an epilogue that I'll finish it up with.

In some respects, it felt like it had just been yesterday that Cyrus had started middle school, and in others it felt like a lifetime ago. Looking at pictures from sixth grade was strange; not only did he physically look completely different, but it almost felt as though he was looking into the face of a stranger. So much in his life had changed since then, and he had learned a lot about who he was as a person.

Looking at his sixth-grade self, he knew that he would have been surprised to know that one day he would be friends with – well, really anyone besides Andi and Buffy – but people who were popular, athletic, and cool. He was friends with high schoolers who were a few years older than him. He had tried all sorts of activities that he never would have dreamed of when he was younger, like skateboarding and dirt bike riding. He had gotten involved in protests and even gotten arrested.

And he liked boys. It was weird, thinking about how he had always been gay, but he didn’t know it. In sixth grade, he had no clue. Figuring out that he had a crush on Jonah had been a surprise of sorts. When it came to having crushes, he had never had a crush on a girl, but he also hadn’t had a crush on a boy. At least not that he could remember. And then suddenly he did, and his whole view of the world and himself had changed.

It was a change he was okay with though. He had learned a lot about himself as a result, and he was happy with who he was.

Although, even if he had known that he was gay back before seventh grade, he definitely never would have believed that he would be dating the _captain of the basketball team_ of all people. While he had stopped thinking about TJ in those terms a long time ago, he was still very aware that TJ was quite a bit more popular than he was. And just the fact that one of the most popular guys in school not only was also gay but liked him still boggled his mind at times.

But now everything was going to change because they were done with middle school. They had graduated and gotten their diplomas. Now they just had one summer left before high school started. And to celebrate, Cyrus’ parents had decided to throw a graduation party for him.

Some of his friends had also had parties, and he enjoyed going to them all. Aside from Andi and Buffy, he hadn’t really met the families of his other friends, so it was neat to be able to meet the aunts, uncles, cousins, and other various family members of his friends. His family was quite a bit bigger than anyone else’s, especially since he had four parents with extended families to pull together. His mom and dad had agreed to host one party and not two, so there were quite a few people in the backyard of his dad’s house one weekend in late June.

His stepmom had put together a photo board display of pictures of him from over the years up until eighth grade, which is why he had found himself staring at a picture of his sixth-grade self, musing over how much his life had changed. As he stood there, he felt an arm slide over his shoulders.

“Hey,” TJ said.

“Hi,” Cyrus turned to smile up at his boyfriend. TJ was smiling at him as well, but Cyrus could see the nervousness in his eyes. This was the first time that the two of them were at a family event as a couple. While Cyrus’ parents had known for awhile that the two were dating, most of Cyrus’ other family had only ever met TJ at the Shiva, before the two had started dating. And at that point, no one in Cyrus’ family had known that he was gay.

Cyrus knew that most of his family had figured it out at this point. His cousins all followed him on social media and had likely seen his pictures with TJ. He was sure that his aunts and uncles likely knew as a result. Even a few of them had Insta accounts as well. But it was the older generation that probably had no clue yet. Cyrus had talked about it with his parents, and they had been honest about the fact that they weren’t sure how some of his older relatives would react. Most of his grandparents had passed away at that point, and he wasn’t as close with the grandparents that came from his stepparents. However, there were a few great aunts and uncles in the family that he did know well, and that was going to be the final hurdle.

“Nice pictures,” TJ said, gesturing at the board. “I don’t think I’ve seen a lot of these before.”

“There’s a reason for that,” Cyrus said, cringing a bit as TJ peered more closely at one of Cyrus in the third grade with a very unfortunate haircut.

“Nah, you’re cute in all of them,” TJ grinned at him. Cyrus couldn’t help the smile that reluctantly spread across his face at the compliment, and he slipped his hand into TJ’s.

“Come on, let’s do something other than look at my embarrassing baby pictures,” he said, starting to tug TJ away.

“Aw,” TJ complained with mock disappointment.

“There’s ladder golf set up over there and Buffy has already declared herself the champion,” he informed TJ, whose eyes lit up with a familiar competitive gleam.

“Not for long,” he said confidently, and started forward towards where the poles were set up.

Before long, TJ and Buffy had teamed up with Jonah and Marty respectively in an intensely competitive game. Cyrus flopped down in the grass next to Andi who was busy at work making flower crowns out of the dandelions that were dotted around the lawn. They let the sun bask over their skin and watched their friends trash talk each other as they played. Cyrus sighed happily, enjoying the moment.

After playing a few rounds, Marty announced that he was hungry, and the group meandered over to the food tables. They filled their plates and found some empty lawn chairs that they dragged into a circle. They chatted and joked around for a bit while they snacked. At one point, Cyrus got up to go grab a drink, and TJ followed him.

“Is your mom going to give a speech later?” TJ asked him with a grin as they rooted through the cooler of sodas.

“I hope not, but I’m also not going to be surprised if she does,” Cyrus said with a sigh. TJ laughed and nudged his shoulder.

“Maybe she’ll highlight some of your best baby photos too,” he said, grinning even more widely. Cyrus groaned at the thought, making TJ laugh. Switching his soda to his other hand, TJ reached out to link fingers with Cyrus as they started to make their way back over to their friends. As they were walking back, Cyrus heard his name being called. Turning, he saw that it was his Aunt Ruthie who was trying to get his attention. It seemed that she had just arrived at the party.

“Hi, Aunt Ruthie,” Cyrus said as she approached. It was only when she was a few feet away that he realized he was still holding TJ’s hand. Before he could make a decision about whether to let go or not, her gaze narrowed directly onto their clasped hands.

“What are you doing?” she asked him sharply. Cyrus took a deep breath, glancing over at TJ who looked as nervous as he felt.

“Aunt Ruthie, you remember TJ, right? He came to Bubbe Rose’s Shiva.”

Aunt Ruthie gave TJ a piercing stare, to which he returned a nervous smile.

“Yes,” she said, returning her gaze to Cyrus.

“Well,” Cyrus said cautiously. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“I know he’s your friend,” she replied. “Why are you holding his hand?”

“He’s my boyfriend,” Cyrus repeated. “We’re dating.”

She stared at him; her face impassive. After a long look, she turned and started making her way towards the house. As she got closer, he could hear her calling out his mother’s name.

“What…just happened?” TJ asked.

“I’m not really sure,” Cyrus replied. “But she didn’t make a scene, so that’s good at least. And hopefully my mom will be able to talk to her.”

He had known that Aunt Ruthie would be the person in his family that would be most likely to cause a fight or argue about it. She hadn’t made a scene at least, which had always been a very likely possibility. His hope now was that his mother would sit down and talk it over with her and explain what was going on. While he had been prepared to stand his ground had she raised a stink about it, he was glad that the responsibility was being passed off to someone else. His mother was very good at calming people down and still standing her ground in a disagreement.

“Come on,” Cyrus said, tugging TJ back towards their friends. “I’m not going to follow her and get in an argument. My mom can handle it.”

TJ still looked a little worried, but he allowed Cyrus to pull him back towards the chairs.

Over the course of the party, Cyrus was able to push the incident to the back of his mind. Amber showed up after her shift, giving him a hug and joining in with the rest of the group. Soon they were getting dinner, and as TJ predicted, Leslie made a slightly tear-filled speech about how proud she was of Cyrus. At one point, Cyrus had to separate himself from the group to go and visit with all his relatives who had shown up. His parents insisted that he make small talk with everyone at least once during the party, since they had all come out to celebrate him. Aunt Ruthie was nowhere to be seen, and it wasn’t until later in the evening that he was able to ask his mother what had happened.

“She’s in the living room right now with some of the older folks here,” his mother told him when he finally was able to pull her aside. “It’s a little warm out for them to be sitting in the sun.”

“What did she say to you?” he asked, feeling nervous. His mother sighed deeply in response.

“Well, she was pretty confused to begin with,” she replied. “I had to explain to her that, yes, you meant boyfriend in a romantic sense. And then she asked if you would get a girlfriend later, and I had to tell her that, no, that wouldn’t be happening at all.”

“Is she mad? Or upset?” Cyrus asked.

“I think she’s a little confused, and a lot thrown off guard,” his mother said. “She definitely wasn’t expecting that, and she likely had this idea of who you were in her head that she has to rearrange now.”

“Oh,” Cyrus said, feeling a little hurt. His mother noticed the expression on his face and put an arm around his shoulders.

“I know this must be hard for you,” she said. “I’m not making excuses for her, but it is likely going to take her a while to come around to this. But I told her in no uncertain terms that we would not accept any comments or rude treatment either. If she is going to be here, she needs to treat you and TJ with respect, even if she’s not happy about the situation. And if she can’t do that, we will ask her to leave.”

“Oh,” Cyrus said again, this time in surprise. He knew his parents supported him, but he hadn’t expected such a bold statement. It did make him feel better though to know how strongly his parents were on his side.

“It will take some time, but I think she will come around,” his mother said. “She’s from a different time, and her views are reflective of that. But with everyone else in the family supporting you, I think that will help shift her way of thinking.”

“I hope so too,” Cyrus said. His mother pulled him into a hug, which he gladly reciprocated.

When they pulled apart, Cyrus decided to ask his mom something that had been on his mind for a while.

“How do you think Bubbe Rose would have reacted?” he asked her hesitantly. “I never told her, so I never knew what she would have said.”

His mother paused, considering it. “I wouldn’t want to put words into her mouth,” his mother finally said. “But she loved you Cyrus. She loved you so much, and ultimately, I don’t think she would have minded. She would have loved you no matter what.”

He smiled, feeling tears starting to prick at his eyes. “I wish I would have told her,” he said quietly.

“I know,” his mother replied, smiling sadly before pulling him in for another hug.

After a while, the party started to die down. Cyrus found himself saying goodbye and thanking lots of people for coming. Most of his friends ended up leaving too, making plans to meet up at the Spoon the next day. Soon it was down to just a few stragglers. Cyrus was helping his dad carry in empty dishes from the tables outside while his mother and stepparents coordinated the older folks who were taking their time getting ready. He was about to head into the living room to say some last goodbyes when his Aunt Ruthie appeared in the kitchen. Her facial expression was still unreadable, and he prepared himself for her reaction.

“I didn’t say congratulations earlier,” she told him. “So, congratulations on your graduation.”

“Thank you,” he replied, chancing a smile. She studied him for a moment, before patting his arm and turning to walk back to the living room.

Cyrus stood there, slightly puzzled by the interaction. He couldn’t tell what that meant. He glanced at his father, who merely shrugged. He decided to accept it and hopefully work towards something better in the future. His mother’s advice to give her time sounded pretty good, and he figured that was the best course forward. It may take some time, but one day, hopefully his whole family would be supportive of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone had suggested Aunt Muriel as one of the people he came out to, and I wanted it to be somewhat realistic - not everyone would have the same reaction, and sometimes people need more time to come to terms with it. I wanted a more uplifting ending, and I didn't think this chapter would be the best way to end it, which is why there will be an epilogue.


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are at the end. If you've read, commented, or left kudos, thank you! This story ended up being longer and more complex than I initially planned, but I definitely enjoyed writing it. And I figured I should wrap things up as pride month is ending. Enjoy!

The first time that Cyrus went to Pride, he was overwhelmed. Not only was it overwhelming in the sense that there were a lot of people moving in lots of different directions, and it was loud and noisy, but it was just the sense of being in a place unlike any he had experienced before. It was the first time he had been somewhere that openly and proudly celebrated people being LGBTQ. 

He had his friends and family who supported him unconditionally, of course. But there were quite a few people that he had encountered that didn’t feel the same. A lot of the time, he felt nervous letting people know he was gay, even though he had to have done it dozens of times over by now. 

But here he didn't have to worry. Here he could wear a rainbow shirt that proudly declared that he was gay, with a rainbow heart painted on his cheek. Here he could hold hands with his boyfriend as they walked around without having to worry that someone would say something rude to them, or that whispers would follow them. 

He knew that the rest of the world wasn’t like this yet, and that it couldn’t always be like this, but he was grateful for this small moment, these few brief hours where he could let his worries rest for just a bit. 

Watching TJ’s face as he took in everything was even better. It was the first time that they had really displayed the fact that they were together, and he knew what a big deal it was for his boyfriend. Later that night, TJ would make the decision to come out to everyone, and Cyrus was so happy that he had been able to get there. He knew that they would have struggles ahead of them, but he was willing to meet them with TJ by his side.

They made it a tradition; their little friend group that went to Pride the first time together. Every summer, they would pile into cars and make their way over to the nearest city to Shadyside that was hosting a Pride event. The first couple of years, Bex and Bowie drove them, and once they hit sixteen, they were able to drive themselves. (Bex and Bowie still came, because they had as much fun at Pride as everyone else). And once they entered high school, their friend group continued to grow and every year, they had a few more people to celebrate with.

In high school, Cyrus decided to start a GSA, with the help of some friends. The group attracted a lot of people; soon they had built up a support system of sorts. Cyrus found himself at the center of the group, with people looking towards him as the leader, which was a new experience for him. He found himself learning more and more as the years went on; while he knew what it was like to be gay, that was where his experience ended. Everyone that joined the group had a different perspective, different experiences. He tried to listen and learn and help as much as he could.

He and TJ walked down the halls together, holding hands for everyone to see. TJ kissed him goodbye before some of his classes, and they sent texts to each other when they were supposed to be paying attention in class. Cyrus stole a number of TJ’s hoodies and jackets, many of them sports related, wearing them proudly on game days. TJ surprised him with notes stuck in his locker, and the occasional chocolate chocolate chip muffin. They went on dates and hung out at each other's houses and did homework together, and every once in a while, went down to the swings. 

A lot had changed since Cyrus had tearfully admitted to Buffy that he had a crush on a boy, scared of what her reaction would be. It was hard to remember what his life had been like before that, as it seemed like he had been a different person back then. But he was happy now. He was glad he had figured out who he was, and even though it had been scary, it was worth it. 

And now he found himself in the opposite seat, as his friends came to him with questions. He held Amber’s hand as she shakily told him that she had figured out that she didn’t really like boys, but there was a girl who had caught her eye. He listened as Andi told him about a new girl at her school who made her heart skip a beat. 

As he got older, Cyrus started to think about the future. Not just college, but what his life would look like as an adult. He could get married; maybe have kids. He could start a family. There were more decisions to be made there, but that was still long away in the future. While he knew everyone said that high school relationships didn’t last, he couldn’t seem to picture a future without TJ by his side. They had been through so much together, and whenever Cyrus pictured the future, TJ was there.

Coming out had been a process, and he knew it wasn't over. He knew there would be challenges and obstacles to overcome in the future, but he knew that he had people who loved him and that he would be ready to face them when they came. 


End file.
